Those years were the best days, but they were also the heaviest ones.

I don’t regret staying home with my kids or putting a career on the back burner. I would make that same decision again. But it was hard in ways that are difficult to explain unless you’ve lived it. We were always on a budget, constantly trying to make each paycheck stretch just a little further.

On the hardest days, I wished I could find something…anything… that would bring in a little extra money to take some of that pressure off my husband. Instead, everything I found felt like a dead end. MLMs, survey sites that paid in pennies, data entry jobs that felt sketchy at best – nothing that actually worked for the kind of life we were living. Just things that made you feel worse for even trying.

It’s a weird position to be in – feeling useless and valuable at the same time. Both things can be true, but the tension and guilt don’t really go away, even if no one is saying it out loud.

To quiet the noise and the self-doubt, I started reading more. 

What began as self-development books on marriage and family eventually led to communication, mindset, habits, and just figuring out how to show up better in the life I already had.

There really wasn’t some bigger plan behind it. I just needed something that pulled me out of that stuck funk I was feeling and gave me a little forward motion.

From Stay-at-Home Mom to Content Team Lead

Back in 2022, we moved from Colorado to Tennessee in pursuit of a better life. But after getting settled, we quickly realized that there was no outrunning the cost of living, no matter where you go. In case you didn’t know, kids are expensive everywhere.

Then an opportunity came along – a part-time, work-from-home content writing job. I was hesitant to apply. I had been out of the workforce for more than ten years, and the only writing samples I had were from this blog. It didn’t feel like much to offer. But to my surprise, I received an email asking to meet for an interview. 

Long story short, it was not the company for me. But that decision led me to another opportunity at a different company – a full-time role. Not everyone was convinced I could handle it. But I shrugged it off and thought, I’ll figure it out.

And I did.

About five months into that role, a position opened up for an editor. I pitched the idea to our COO, explaining why I thought I could fill the gap. After thinking it over, his response was simple: “It only makes sense.”

That led to a meeting with the CEO, who agreed to give me a chance.

That was the first moment where it really hit me – not just that I was capable of doing more, but that someone else saw that, too. It also made me realize how much opportunity there was to grow. If I was willing to step up, there was space for it.

About a year later, I started paying more attention to where I could be more helpful – bringing on new writers and improving consistency across the team, while also supporting the people behind the work. My CEO noticed the impact and offered leadership training as a way to support that growth. A few months later, I found myself stepping into a team lead role.

The Work You Think Doesn’t Matter Still Counts

Now, when I look back on that season of life, I don’t see it the same way I did at the time. I thought I was standing still, but I wasn’t.

The small, intentional decisions to keep growing (even when it didn’t seem necessary) made more of a difference than I realized when the opportunity finally showed up. 

Because a lot of life really is waiting for opportunities – jobs opening up, people finally noticing what you’re good at, and getting a chance you didn’t see coming. But the other half is what you do while you’re waiting.

I feel lucky in a lot of ways, especially because it’s not easy to find work flexible enough to continue homeschooling, and I don’t take it for granted.

But getting here didn’t feel like luck.

A leadership coach once told me, “If you’re going to pick up the ball, score.”

It’s easy to hesitate when something new is put in front of you – to question whether you’re ready, whether you deserve it, or whether you’re the right person. But at some point, it really does come down to that.

You either step into it, or you don’t. And I hope you don’t overlook the decisions you’re making today because they might be the ones that change everything.

The post The Career Path I Didn’t Realize I Was Building as a Stay-at-Home Mom appeared first on Bliss This Mess.

I wanted to. I just couldn’t.

Rest is hard when you’re tired of carrying too much. I’d already put words to some of that weight in a year-end confession, but the heaviness in my house and in my head felt like a sure way to stay stuck if I didn’t actually do something about it. So, instead of overthinking it or trying to talk myself out of it, I grabbed trash bags and started deep cleaning my entire house.

Not the casual, surface-level kind of cleaning, but the kind where you’re pulling things out of closets, opening drawers you usually avoid, and throwing things away that have been carried from house to house for no real reason other than “just in case.” It wasn’t about having a spotless home. It was about not bringing extra baggage into the new year.

I’m not looking for reinvention this year. I’m looking for relief. For something that feels calmer, more sustainable, easier to come back to when life gets messy again.

Which is how I landed on my word for 2026: steady.

The Invisible Weight I’m Leaving Behind

As I was tossing things into trash bags, I kept thinking about how much life feels like that “just in case” pile. Not just stuff, but habits and choices shaped by uncertainty, like extra spending because things feel unstable, extra stress because I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and extra emotional weight from living like everything good is only temporary.

I don’t want more. In fact, I want less of that. What I’m leaving behind isn’t responsibility or caution – it’s the constant bracing. The feeling that I have to stay one step ahead of disaster to be okay. The habit of holding everything tightly because letting go feels risky. The belief that calm is something you borrow briefly before chaos returns.

According to the Chinese zodiac, snake years are associated with shedding – not in a dramatic, burn-it-all-down way, but in a quiet, intentional one. Letting go of what once served a purpose but now just takes up space. Habits. Patterns. Relationships. Expectations. Even identities built in survival mode.

The things I threw away weren’t necessarily bad or broken – they just stuck around longer than they needed to, mostly out of habit. And the longer I sat with that, the clearer it became how often I hold onto ways of thinking that once helped me get through, but don’t actually help me live well anymore.

Making Space (Again) for the Small Things

What I’m reaching for isn’t dramatic change or overnight improvement. It’s steadiness – in the most practical, unglamorous sense of the word. Not because my life already feels steady, but because I’m tired of how much energy it takes to live without it.

Steady, to me, looks like consistency I can actually maintain. Predictable enough to breathe. Calm enough to plan. Stable enough to eventually enjoy what’s in front of me without immediately waiting for it to disappear. It’s not about having everything figured out – it’s about trusting that things don’t have to swing wildly between we’re fine and we’re barely holding it together.

Last week, my aunt shared something my great grandma used to say: “The simplest things in life bring the most joy.” And lately, those words have been sticking with me more than I expected. Because when life feels unsteady, whether that’s financially, emotionally, or mentally, even good moments feel fragile. You notice them, but you don’t settle into them.

I don’t think joy disappears when life gets hard. I think it’s more like a lit candle sitting under a fan. When everything feels unsteady, the air is constantly moving. Even when joy shows up, it doesn’t last long. It gets blown out almost as quickly as it appears.

Not because it isn’t real. Not because you don’t appreciate it. But because it’s hard to keep a flame going when you’re always bracing for the next gust.

The thing about a candle, though, is that it can always be relit. And steady doesn’t mean the air stops moving altogether – it just means things are calm enough for the flame to stay.

That’s what I’m reaching for, a life steady enough that joy has a chance to linger instead of constantly being snuffed out.

Steady, Girl. You’ve Got This.

I don’t expect 2026 to be easy. But I do hope it feels steadier — in ways that show up quietly over time.

If the Year of the Snake was about shedding what no longer fits, then this next year feels like the part that comes after. I don’t know if I believe in astrology, symbolic years, or the idea that a single word can magically reroute your life. But I do believe in choosing how I move forward, even if the path still feels unfinished. This next year doesn’t need to move faster. It just needs to move forward in a way that can carry what matters with it.

And right now, that feels like enough.

The post 2026: The Year I Stop Carrying Everything appeared first on Bliss This Mess.

For most of my adult life so far, I’ve been needed. Constantly. If it wasn’t tending to babies, it was calming temper tantrums, managing the family calendar, grocery shopping, cooking meals, budgeting, holding everyone’s emotions, and handling the million other invisible things that keep a household running. Motherhood didn’t just become part of my identity – it became my whole identity.

Now, my youngest is almost three years old. The days are still loud and full and demanding, but there are more quiet moments than there used to be. Moments I rarely had before.

And in those moments, I feel strangely…empty.

Before Everything Became About Survival

There was a time when attention came easily. I answered phone calls, I replied to texts quickly, I remembered birthdays, and even checked in just because. I planned things weeks in advance and followed through. Relationships didn’t feel like something I had to fit in, they were something I made space for.

Creativity lived there, too. I loved getting lost in a DIY project or making something thoughtful for someone I cared about. I poured time into details – not because I had to, but because showing up for people in small, intentional ways mattered to me.

At the same time, something important was being built. Not just my family – but me. The kind you decide to become in those childhood moments when your parents piss you off and you silently swear, “I’ll never be like them” (but life quickly humbles you, and one day, you hear their voice come out of your own mouth).

That building doesn’t just happen overnight. It takes intention. Effort. Constant self-correction. Creating a home that felt calm, loving, safe, and meaningful requires focus – and over time, that focus became survival.

What Got Set Down Along the Way

When survival becomes the priority, attention narrows and survival instincts take over. The brain starts sorting everything by urgency – what needs to happen now and what can wait. As we get older, and especially as mental load increases, the brain becomes ruthless about what it holds onto. It doesn’t store things based on sentiment or intention, it stores what it believes is useful, necessary, and tied to survival.

That’s why names slip, why birthdays blur together, why you walk into a room and forget why you’re there. The brain isn’t failing, it’s prioritizing. When your days are filled with grocery lists, school schedules, deadlines, budgets, and emotional regulation – not just for yourself, but for everyone around you – your brain adapts and becomes focused on keeping the wheels from falling off.

And when efficiency becomes the goal, anything that doesn’t serve immediate function becomes optional. Not unimportant. Just not urgent.

I didn’t lose those parts all at once. I set them down, fully believing I’d come back for them when things slowed down.

And then they never did.

The Quiet That Came After

The strange thing is, life didn’t suddenly slow down. In fact, the days are still full, with most of my waking hours still accounted for. But over time, the noise has softened. Just enough to notice what was missing. And once I noticed it, I couldn’t unnotice it.

That’s when the emptiness started creeping in – not loud or overwhelming, just present. So, I scroll, I stare, I mentally list all the things I didn’t get to. It feels unproductive and unsatisfying, like working all day just to sit still and do nothing. It isn’t sadness, exactly. It feels more like boredom mixed with loneliness – and something harder to name.

I try to tell myself this is just adulthood. Just another day in paradise, as most people would say.

But another thought keeps surfacing, uninvited and persistent:

This can’t be all there is to life, right?

Something’s Gotta Give

I’ve had moments like this before, but this year, the feeling hasn’t gone away. Maybe it’s maturity. Maybe it’s exhaustion. Maybe it’s the realization that time doesn’t feel as endless as it once did. Whatever the reason, I can’t shake the sense that continuing at this pace isn’t sustainable.

The last thing I want to do is wake up at the end of next year in the exact same place, wondering where the time went. And I definitely don’t want to spend another year chasing something that can’t be caught at the speed I’m moving.

The fear isn’t about failing – it’s about stagnating.

About waking up day after day on autopilot. About staying busy but not feeling fulfilled. About pouring energy into everything that keeps life running while slowly losing the parts of myself that once made it feel meaningful. About shrinking dreams to fit the margins of exhaustion and calling it “being realistic.”

This time of year has a way of doing that – slowing things down just enough to take inventory. Not in a new year, new me kind of way, but in a quieter, more honest one.

A “let’s stop pretending this is fine” kind of way.

Because calling exhaustion a season and stagnation a phase doesn’t make them temporary. It just makes them familiar. And familiarity is how things stay exactly the same.

I don’t have a perfectly formed plan. What needs to change – or what comes next – isn’t clear yet. But continuing on autopilot and calling it life isn’t an option anymore. Neither is another year of setting myself aside and promising I’ll come back later.

Maybe this isn’t the year everything changes.
Maybe it’s just the year I stop ignoring the fact that something has to.

All I know is that ignoring this feeling feels riskier than listening to it. And maybe that’s the point.

The post A Year-End Confession I Didn’t Expect to Make appeared first on Bliss This Mess.

The Chaos Before the Leap

From the outside, it probably looked like we had it all under control. But the truth is, things started spiraling from the moment we said go.

The plan was to list the house for one weekend, book a hotel, and avoid the stress of dragging five kids and two dogs out of the house every time someone scheduled a showing. It sounded like a brilliant strategy.

But because chaos has a wildly inconvenient sense of humor, an hour before the very first showing, a gust of wind ripped our storm door wide open and shattered the glass across the front steps.

There my husband and I were – sweating, rushing, trying to pack up the car, make the house look perfect, and wrangle children – wondering if this was just bad luck or the first sign that everything was about to go off the rails.

And that was just the beginning. There was also a whole lot of time spent FaceTiming walk-throughs of homes in towns we’d never set foot in, countless offers that weren’t accepted, and stressing over the moving pods full of our belongings that almost didn’t get picked up before we left.

But that’s a story for another day.

What mattered most in that moment was how tightly we were hanging on. To hope. To the possibility. To the gut feeling that – even with all the doubt, the chaos, and every curveball life threw at us – we had to keep going.

Because our story isn’t just about taking a risk. It’s about overcoming everything that tried to talk us out of it so we could tell you just how worth it it really was.

The Life We Would’ve Missed

The other night, I was walking the gravel path around our neighborhood at sunset – one of those still, golden evenings where everything feels just a little bit magical. The sky was glowing orange, the fog was settling low across the ground, and frogs were croaking from the pond nearby. As I passed behind our house, I could hear my kids laughing and playing with their neighborhood friends out front.

And I stood there for a second, soaking it all in. Overwhelmed. Grateful. A little teary. Because this – this life we’ve built here – is something I didn’t even know I was hoping for.

And I can’t help but think about everything we would’ve missed if we hadn’t taken the risk. The friendships, the community, the opportunities, and the fresh air that just feels different now.

It’s easy to let fear win. To stay where it’s comfortable. To tell yourself now isn’t the right time. That you need more money, more experience, more certainty, or a giant neon sign pointing you in the right direction.

But sometimes? The only thing standing between you and the life you want is the guts to go for it.

Call It Reckless. I Call It Worth It.

A year after we moved, I shared a reflection on Facebook that still sticks with me: “Take the risk before you lose the chance.” It wasn’t just a quote. It was a challenge. A truth.

I know life feels heavy for a lot of people right now. Everything is more expensive, more uncertain, and more overwhelming. But maybe that’s all the more reason to leap when you feel the pull. Because what if it does work out? What if you land somewhere better than you imagined?

Not just geographically – but emotionally, spiritually, or professionally.

So here’s to the risks that look reckless on paper but feel right in your gut. Here’s to getting uncomfortable, trusting the nudge, and choosing growth over guarantees.

And if you’re still standing at your own crossroads? Here’s your sign.

The post When the Risk Feels Reckless, Do It Anyway appeared first on Bliss This Mess.

That’s nearly two years of silence on a blog that once felt like my favorite place on the internet. A place where I could process, connect, reflect, and share. The world didn’t stop turning, and I certainly didn’t find the secret to getting time to stop – I just got caught in the current.

Since then, I switched jobs, started writing about tree care full-time, and somewhere along the way, I got promoted to editor. Add that to the list of hats I wear everyday: homeschool teacher, mom of six, full-time employee, laundry doer, meal maker, never-ending question answerer. You get it. While I was busy trying to find myself, I wound up losing myself, too.

What Gets Lost When You’re Trying to Do It All

When you’re stretched thin, hobbies are the first thing to go. You don’t even consciously choose to give them up – it’s more like they slowly fade into the background while you’re busy keeping everyone else fed, educated, clean(ish), and loved. And before you know it, joy– real, soul-deep joy – slips through the cracks before you even realize it’s missing.

The truth is, lately I’ve been walking around with this quiet little ache I couldn’t quite name. A fog. A heaviness. Like I was homesick, but not for a place – for a version of me I barely remember.

I’d try to talk about it when I could. I’d say things like, “I don’t know who I am anymore,” or “I spent my entire 20s waiting for a sliver of free time, and now that I finally have a little space, I don’t know what to do with it.”

And the wild thing is – I should be happy. I am happy in so many ways. But there’s this undercurrent, this whisper that something is missing. That I’ve spent so long being everything for everyone else, I forgot how to just be me. Not “Mom,” not “Editor,” not “Wife,” not “Teacher.” Just…Jess.

I don’t think I’m alone in this. I think a lot of us get to this point – especially women, especially moms – where we look around and realize we’ve built beautiful lives full of love and purpose, and yet we still feel a little hollow inside. Not because we’re ungrateful. Not because we don’t love our people. But because we’ve been so busy meeting everyone else’s needs that we forgot to ask what we need.

And for me, that question – what do I actually need? – is what led me back here.

A Podcast, a Walk, and a Wake-Up Call

Recently, I was out for a walk, airpods in, trying to do one of the million things that I “should” be doing – prioritizing my health – and I heard Rachel Hollis tell a story that gave me goosebumps.

She talked about an event where she was speaking to a crowd that felt completely flat. She was walking them through a visualization exercise – one that usually gets people lit up and leaning in – but this time, the energy just wasn’t there.

Finally, one man in the front row spoke up and said, “What’s the point? I’ve done all the things.” He was in his 50s, owned a home, had a wife, and beautiful kids. The checklist was complete, but he still felt empty.

And I thought…oh no. That’s me.

I’ve done the things. Built a wonderful family, have a husband I’ve adored for the last 12 years, and hit milestones in my profession I didn’t think would happen without a college degree. And yet, there’s this nagging voice inside that whispers, Is this all there is? Not in an ungrateful way. I love my people and I love my life. But I’ve been so busy checking the boxes that I forgot to ask myself what I actually want. What brings me joy beyond being needed.

Writing My Way Back to Me

Writing used to be that thing for me.

Blogging was never about going viral or building a brand. It was about connection. It was about those quiet messages from moms across the world who read my messy thoughts and said, “me too.” I miss that.

So, this post is me dusting off the blog, breathing life back into it, and not worrying too much about where it goes. It’s a journal entry, a love letter, a weird, emotional toe-dip back into the water.

I don’t have a content calendar or even really a plan, I just have this tug in my chest that says, write again.

So I will.

This space won’t be perfect. But it’ll be honest. You can expect more musings on motherhood, homeschooling, marriage, exhaustion, and joy. Maybe a craft or two. Who knows?

But for now, just know – I’m back, baby! Still messy. Still searching. Still showing up.

The post When the Hustle Drowns Out the Joy appeared first on Bliss This Mess.

It doesn’t help that as a stay at home mom, you are constantly asked by friends, family, and even complete strangers what you are going to do when the kids are all in school. Implying that you aren’t doing enough already. If you were shocked to find out I willingly gave birth to six kids, then prepare yourself for the next mind-blowing fact of the day: we choose to homeschool all of these kids. So while our sixth kid was completely planned, it was essentially restarting the clock to at least another 18 years of raising a human being into a valuable member of society.

Homeschooling allows us to squeeze in a little extra time into an already short childhood. Raising kids is just like how that Kenny Chesney song goes, “Don’t blink, you just might miss your babies growing like mine did…” For as much as I love this phase of life we are in, I couldn’t help but feel like there was something else calling my name. And no, it wasn’t just the never ending echo of “Moooooooom” all day long. It was more like an outside force pushing me in a whole new direction than where I thought I was headed.

I’m an intuitive person. I believe if something is meant to be, it will be. Even though my life has carved its own path completely separate from the one pictured, I’ve somehow arrived in a pretty incredible place. So when these indescribable feelings happen, I buckle the hell up, I mean, embrace it. So before blowing out the candles on my 29th birthday cake, I made less of a wish, and more of a promise to myself that I was going to spend the last year in my 20s figuring out what the next decade of my life would bring.

Stay at Home Mom Becomes Work From Home Mom

If you don’t know me personally, even a quick look at this blog will tell you that I love being a mom. I’m thankful to have been chosen and trusted six different times by God to raise each beautiful and perfect child I was blessed with. Even on my worst days, I find this full time job of being a stay at home mom very fulfilling. But there was one night when I was nursing my youngest to sleep while scrolling Facebook on my phone that  I came across a job listing. A digital marketing agency was looking for a new content writer. This person needed to be creative and detail oriented. I’m thinking, “check and check!” But what really caught my attention was how this position was fully remote and flexible.

The voice in the back of my head kept telling me there was no way I was qualified enough because the only recent writing history I have had is on this blog. But I shut that voice up by applying for the position anyway. If there’s one thing I learned at an early age, it was that the majority of the time, the only thing standing in our way is ourselves.

I wasn’t expecting anything to come of it. So you can only imagine how incredibly thrilled I was to get asked to meet for an interview and later, be offered the position. It was the validation I needed after pouring hours upon hours into Bliss This Mess with no idea where it would go. Because the sad, honest truth is that my friends and family weren’t the ones that made up the majority of my support. Which is ok! I wouldn’t expect people to spend their valuable time reading something that didn’t apply to them or interest them.

But, thanks to all of the random strangers across the world that did read and comment on the blog, I kept on writing. Carefully crafting words into sentences that I hoped would resonate with just one other person out there. So whether this is your first time here, or you’ve been following me for awhile, thank you for giving me a reason not to give up doing what I love. I didn’t realize at the time of starting this blog that it would become a portfolio of my best work that led me straight into the next phase of my life as a digital marketing content writer.

How to Balance Working From Home and Parenthood

Remember that little voice of self doubt I had before applying for the job? I’d be lying if I said it didn’t return a hundred more times between the time I accepted the position and my very first day. Will I be able to do this? I already have enough on my plate as it is! But you know what’s louder than that voice in my head? My stubbornness and never ending desire to prove myself wrong. Just like the quote from Dale Carnegie suggests, “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” So instead of just dipping my toes in the water, I cannonballed into the deep end. Sure, it took some time to find our groove. But here’s what I have discovered about balancing being a mom and working from home:

1. Plan Your Day

I’m not naturally a very organized person. I don’t have a beautiful, Pinterest-worthy work space with a color coded calendar. However, I do like to-do lists. Every day, I write out the top 3 most important tasks, and focus on that. This also helps make sure that my kids’ appointments don’t fall through the crack. If I have time and the mental capacity to get to more than those three things, then I will. But usually, whatever else is on the list can wait until the next day. This has helped tremendously with feeling overwhelmed.

2. Delegate and Share Responsibilities

“Tell me what you need me to do!” What my husband says anytime I start shooting him a very strategic side eye. I really don’t think stay at home moms talk often enough about how exhausting the mental load of all of our responsibilities is. If you’re a recovering perfectionist like me, it can be hard to ask for help. But by sharing the responsibilities with your spouse and older children, it will not only lighten your work load, but it will also foster a stronger sense of teamwork within your family.

3. Increase Your Adaptability

My very first week of working from home, my whole family came down with a horrible virus. We all suffered from high fevers and sore throats. My husband, who I was counting on to pick up the slack that week, ended up spending the whole time sleeping or complaining about how miserable he felt. You wouldn’t believe how often things like this happen though. I don’t mean us all getting sick at the same time. What I mean is when we get used to our routine and have expectations on how the day or week might go. But when it comes to kids, we have to throw all expectations out of the window. Children are unpredictable. So if we don’t adapt to our an ever changing environment within our own homes, we will become unnecessarily stressed out and frustrated. So it is important that we learn to adjust our schedules, expectations, and priorities. This might mean learning to be ok with unfinished tasks, accepting that work progress may be slower than we’d like sometimes, or even putting work on hold to seize opportunities with our children. Regardless of the situation, try to embrace these challenges with a positive attitude and a sense of humor.

4. Prioritize Me Time

If you didn’t take anything else from this blog but this, I’d be extremely happy. At risk of sounding selfish, I think this is the most important tip I have discovered so far. Especially because what I do for work blends with what I do for fun: writing. You have to make time for self care and activities that recharge you because taking care of yourself emotionally and physically enables you to be more present and effective in both your work, and as a mom.

This-Like Everything Else In Motherhood-Is Just a Phase

When you first start on this path of working from home, balancing your professional responsibilities while keeping up with the constant demands of motherhood can feel overwhelming. I know there are more than enough days that I fall into bed at night with tired feet and an overstimulated brain. While we are often reminded that the days are long and the years are short, it doesn’t mean we don’t catch ourselves wishing away these moments. But trust me, this too, is only a short phase that will soon pass. The tough, unmanageable days of chaos and noise will soon be replaced with well deserved career victories, promotions, or raises, and you’ll find yourself longing for cute, sticky hands to pull you away from your work. So be patient with yourself. Trust that you will figure this all out soon enough. And remember, you’re never alone in this journey. If you’re needing some more words of encouragement, be sure to comment below or send me an email directly to Jess@blissthismess.com.

The post Balancing Personal Growth and Parenthood: A Work from Home Mom’s Journey to Self-Fulfillment appeared first on Bliss This Mess.

Just last month, my husband and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary. I don’t think either of us imagined we would make it to this far without killing each other. Getting married at 18 and 22 isn’t for the faint of heart.

You see, no one really prepares you for how hard marriage is. In a social media world, where everything you see is literally picture perfect, it’s hard to distinguish what a normal relationship looks like. Let alone the amount of work it takes to make a marriage feel good on the inside and not one that just looks good on the outside. Whoever said marriage is 50/50 is a liar. Anything you put half of your effort into never works. Marriage takes 100% of your effort 100% of the time.

But nothing can prepare you for how incredibly awesome it is either. Having someone you can depend on for love, support, and loyalty is irreplaceable. Marriage makes you feel secure. Similar to a weighted blanket except you have to feed it often and listen to it snore.

Last year, I shared what we have learned about marriage so far in my blog post, 5 Tips for a Happy and Successful Marriage. While I’m hoping life grants us another ten years together, I wanted to share the highlights of our first ten years as husband and wife.

Baby #1

Brody, the one that gave me the confidence to believe I could handle five more. Most importantly, he’s the best big brother and I couldn’t have imagined a better leader of the pack.

Our First Home

A cozy, little place with big backyard that we would add dogs, chickens, and many more kids to. We outgrew it about as soon as we moved into it but it contained all of the things we hold dear in our hearts. For that, I’m so grateful.

Baby #2

Mackenzie, the little girl I was always hoping to have someday. She became Brody’s partner in crime almost instantly and they are still inseparable to this day.

Baby #3

Lillian is a firecracker that’s going to change the world! But she’s also the most compassionate one, especially when someone is having a rough day. She’s definitely the mother hen of the group.

Baby #4

Chloe, my little assitant. She insists on being the one that helps with everything and will get offended if someone else beats her to it. She was meant to be a big sister and loves being one.

Baby #5

Amelia, a total class clown. She would do just about anything, including risking hurting herself, to get a laugh out of her siblings. She definitely brightens our day!

Our Second Home

A wild, off-in-the-distant-future idea that became a reality years before we thought it would. The amount of time and effort it took to pull off moving across the country with five kids made me realize I am capable of anything I put my mind to. It was a risk. But one that paid off greatly!

Baby #6

Finally, there was Brayden. The icing on the cake, the cherry on top, our grand finale. Whatever you want to call it, he fulfilled our dreams of having a big family. He’s the sweetest little boy and the most perfect addition.

Ten Years Down, Forever to Go

While the last 10 years have been incredible watching our family grow, I’m looking forward to this new season of life. One where we spend less time running on coffee and cuss words and more time helping and encouraging our kids to be well rounded, young adults.

Here’s to forever and the many more adventures we have awaiting us!

The post The Best of 10 Years Well Spent appeared first on Bliss This Mess.

The odds weren’t necessarily in our favor. 50% of all marriages end in divorce and the median duration of first marriages that end is about 8 years. Whats worse is teenage marriages are two to three times more likely to end in divorce than marriages between people over the age of 25. People thought we were crazy!

But now, my husband and I just celebrated our 9th anniversary. It is really hard to believe that I’ve spent almost a decade with that man. It’s true, time flies when you’re having fun.

I’d be lying if I said these last nine years were all sunshine and rainbow. Anyone that is married will tell you it takes effort every single day to make it work. Whoever said marriage is 50/50 partnership is obviously divorced because relationships requires 100% of your effort every single day.

Looking back, there are five major lessons I learned that helped get us this far. Things we both continue to work at to ensure our marriage thrives.

1. Never Stop Growing as an Individual and as a Couple

In our first couple of years of marriage, I remember feeling like I was always hitting a brick wall in our communication. I finally decided to admit to myself that I didn’t know what I was doing.

So I started reading more books on marriage and relationships, parenting, and family cohesiveness. I wanted to learn how to communicate more effectively and how to handle disagreements. Personal growth is contagious so once I started to work on myself, my husband was eager to learn something he knew nothing about as well. Growing together allowed us to mature faster so we could better understand each other’s wants and needs.

2. Figure Out Each Other’s Love Language

One of the most important books that I have ever read is The Five Love Languages. The idea that everyone has a love tank that needs to be filled in different ways was such an eye opener. My husband and I have similar ways of showing and receiving love, like spending quality time together. But also very different ways. The book even has a quiz for you and your significant other to take to help determine what your love language is. It is no wonder this book is #1 Best Seller on Amazon for marriage books!

3. Show Interest in Each Other’s Passions

I thought marriage was about finding common interests and spending all of our free time doing those things together. Some people do, but we definitely did not.

I mean this in the most loving way possible, but my husband, Aaron, and I couldn’t be more opposite. He enjoys playing video games, tinkering around with RC cars, and occasionally catching up on new TV shows. I love playing around in my craft room, cooking up new recipes, and zoning out to podcasts.

There was one date night in particular that I will never forget. I was a few weeks away from delivering our fourth baby and we decided to go out for one last hoorah. We ended up at our favorite local coffee shop that was hosting a DIY succulent terrarium night. We spent a couple of hours sipping on good coffee and playing in dirt to create a cute decor piece. He later admitted the only reason he agreed to go was because he knew how much fun I would have.

4. Be Respectful at All Times

I understand how easy it is to lose your cool in the heat of the moment. But try really hard to show respect at all times, especially during disagreements. There is nothing more difficult than trying to come to a resolution when one or both of us is being disrespectful. Usually we take this as an opportunity to separate, regroup, and try again to get back on the same page.

An important part of arguments and disagreements is also knowing when to say you’re sorry. Always remember, that at the end of the day, you are on the same team fighting the same fight.

Aside from arguments, another way to ensure you are showing each other respect is to put phones away when you are talking. Social media is already a big enough distraction. Don’t let it interfere with your relationship!

5. You Are In Charge of Your Own Happiness

I remember reading a book years ago that said don’t expect your significant other to make you happy. At first, I thought, if they don’t make me happy, then why commit to being with them?

But what that really meant was never give anyone else control over your own happiness. That is a lot of pressure to put on someone when in reality, YOU are in charge of your own happiness.

When the kids were really little, I remember counting down the minutes until my husband would walk in after a long day at work. I, too, survived another long day and I couldn’t wait for him to come in and rescue me. There’s a difference between giving me a break and being dependent on him to “fix” my day. I control how I feel at the end of the day and it was time to start putting my attitude and mindset in check!

The Secret to a Happy Marriage is Still a Secret

I know with only nine years under our belt, we still have a lot to learn. But I’m so proud that we haven’t broken our promise to stay committed to each other. I love this quote: “A husband and wife may disagree on many things. But they must absolutely agree on this: to never, ever give up.”

I hope this encouraged you to find new ways to improve and grow together! If there’s a lesson you have learned from marriage, please leave it in the comments!

The post 5 Tips for a Happy and Successful Marriage appeared first on Bliss This Mess.

I was more than ready to start working towards my own health and fitness goals after dedicating the last ten years to raising our five kids. My goal was to lose 1.5 lbs. a week. At that pace, I would be about 30 lbs lighter by the end of the year. I was determined. I was committed. This was going to be great!

Until it wasn’t.

I underestimated how tough it was going to be to implement a healthy caloric deficit while still eating enough calories to maintain my milk supply for a nursing infant. It didn’t matter how many days a week I was working out, or that I was making healthy food choices. The scale wasn’t budging.

If you are finding yourself in the same predicament, don’t give up! Try these things instead!

Reassess Your Diet

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “great bodies are made in the kitchen, not in the gym.” Or, “you can’t outwork a bad diet.”

I have been on a journey of trying to implement a more plant based diet. Where I was shorting myself daily was with protein. Having a salad for lunch was healthy but using that to refuel my muscles after a workout, wasn’t benefiting me much at all.

I’m pretty good at cooking nutritious meals at home during the week. But on the weekends, I love the convenience of fast food. Now, I’m trying to limit fast food to one meal a week. This means I have to be intentional about planning meals that are quick and easy to prepare or meal prepping my breakfast and lunches for the week.

So which areas of your diet could use some improvement? Is it cutting sweets, limiting fast food, or introducing more vegetables? Try keeping a food journal to track what you’re eating!

Focus on Water Intake

Drinking enough water can help aid in weight loss by increasing your metabolism. Water can also prevent overeating by creating a sense of fullness. I love drinking a big glass of water first thing in the morning and at least a half an hour before my meals.

My personal goal is to drink 100 oz. of water every day. If, like me, you struggle to drink enough water, I highly recommend buying a gallon water bottle that has the time stamped on the side to help keep you on track throughout the day.

It’s a Marathon, Not a Sprint

I have to continually remind myself that this is a lifestyle change. I am my only competition. So why am I putting so much pressure on myself to get to the finish line first?

I’ve recently introduced more strength training into my exercise routine for a better full body workout. But if it’s a lack of motivation that you are struggling with, try finding a support group on social media or an accountability partner.

Quit Using the Scale to Measure Success

It’s frustrating to put everything you have into a workout day after day and not see the results you wanted. I finally decided to quit stepping on the scale.

Instead of being disappointed, I started celebrating other small wins. Like my clothes fitting better and being able to complete lunges and squats without feeling like my legs would give out. Hello quad muscle I haven’t seen in years!

My consistency was paying off in other ways that I was ignoring simply because the number in my head didn’t match the one on the scale.

So don’t you dare quit on yourself! A little progress each day adds up to big results. Keep going!

The post What To Do When Fitness Goals Fail appeared first on Bliss This Mess.

Then, you get older and get sucked into some of the pitfalls of adulthood and New Year’s feels more like a reset button. Congratulations! You now get to go through another twelve months of the same thing you just barely survived this year.

After 2020, I think a lot of us were optimistic in thinking 2021 would bring something better. I mean, how could it get worse, right? Aside from the birth of our daughter, Amelia, in January, 2021 was just a continuation of the 2020 sh*t show.

A Goal Without a Plan is Only a Dream

At one point, I decided to no longer let the outside world rule the outcome of our future. I can’t control what happens around us but I can control how we respond to it.

I like to think of myself as a glass half full kind of person. So even if the world was in a downward spiral, this year, I was going to go out with a bang!

In April, I forced myself to write down the things that I would like to do that I have been putting off either because of kids, because of a lack of time, or because I was too lazy. Boy, was there a lot! It finally came down to these four most important things: spend more quality time with my family, start writing again, implement more exercise, and finally, be smarter with money.

I’ve spent almost the last decade right in the thick of having and raising babies. When 2020 hit, a lot of people began sharing the importance of self care and the correlation of that to good mental health. Let’s just say after a few close calls of total mommy burnout, I was finally listening.

New Dreams. New Days. New Desires. New Ways.

I’m proud to say all of the things I set out to accomplish in 2021 are still a work in progress. I definitely didn’t hit every goal I set out to accomplish this year. But I’m excited to continue working towards them in 2022.

It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

And to welcome in the new year like every other year, I have chosen our 2022 words. Big things are coming our way! I can feel it!

I hope you also have an amazing year ahead! Happy New Year!

The post This Year in Review and How to Improve appeared first on Bliss This Mess.