It doesn’t help that as a stay at home mom, you are constantly asked by friends, family, and even complete strangers what you are going to do when the kids are all in school. Implying that you aren’t doing enough already. If you were shocked to find out I willingly gave birth to six kids, then prepare yourself for the next mind-blowing fact of the day: we choose to homeschool all of these kids. So while our sixth kid was completely planned, it was essentially restarting the clock to at least another 18 years of raising a human being into a valuable member of society.

Homeschooling allows us to squeeze in a little extra time into an already short childhood. Raising kids is just like how that Kenny Chesney song goes, “Don’t blink, you just might miss your babies growing like mine did…” For as much as I love this phase of life we are in, I couldn’t help but feel like there was something else calling my name. And no, it wasn’t just the never ending echo of “Moooooooom” all day long. It was more like an outside force pushing me in a whole new direction than where I thought I was headed.

I’m an intuitive person. I believe if something is meant to be, it will be. Even though my life has carved its own path completely separate from the one pictured, I’ve somehow arrived in a pretty incredible place. So when these indescribable feelings happen, I buckle the hell up, I mean, embrace it. So before blowing out the candles on my 29th birthday cake, I made less of a wish, and more of a promise to myself that I was going to spend the last year in my 20s figuring out what the next decade of my life would bring.

Stay at Home Mom Becomes Work From Home Mom

If you don’t know me personally, even a quick look at this blog will tell you that I love being a mom. I’m thankful to have been chosen and trusted six different times by God to raise each beautiful and perfect child I was blessed with. Even on my worst days, I find this full time job of being a stay at home mom very fulfilling. But there was one night when I was nursing my youngest to sleep while scrolling Facebook on my phone that  I came across a job listing. A digital marketing agency was looking for a new content writer. This person needed to be creative and detail oriented. I’m thinking, “check and check!” But what really caught my attention was how this position was fully remote and flexible.

The voice in the back of my head kept telling me there was no way I was qualified enough because the only recent writing history I have had is on this blog. But I shut that voice up by applying for the position anyway. If there’s one thing I learned at an early age, it was that the majority of the time, the only thing standing in our way is ourselves.

I wasn’t expecting anything to come of it. So you can only imagine how incredibly thrilled I was to get asked to meet for an interview and later, be offered the position. It was the validation I needed after pouring hours upon hours into Bliss This Mess with no idea where it would go. Because the sad, honest truth is that my friends and family weren’t the ones that made up the majority of my support. Which is ok! I wouldn’t expect people to spend their valuable time reading something that didn’t apply to them or interest them.

But, thanks to all of the random strangers across the world that did read and comment on the blog, I kept on writing. Carefully crafting words into sentences that I hoped would resonate with just one other person out there. So whether this is your first time here, or you’ve been following me for awhile, thank you for giving me a reason not to give up doing what I love. I didn’t realize at the time of starting this blog that it would become a portfolio of my best work that led me straight into the next phase of my life as a digital marketing content writer.

How to Balance Working From Home and Parenthood

Remember that little voice of self doubt I had before applying for the job? I’d be lying if I said it didn’t return a hundred more times between the time I accepted the position and my very first day. Will I be able to do this? I already have enough on my plate as it is! But you know what’s louder than that voice in my head? My stubbornness and never ending desire to prove myself wrong. Just like the quote from Dale Carnegie suggests, “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” So instead of just dipping my toes in the water, I cannonballed into the deep end. Sure, it took some time to find our groove. But here’s what I have discovered about balancing being a mom and working from home:

1. Plan Your Day

I’m not naturally a very organized person. I don’t have a beautiful, Pinterest-worthy work space with a color coded calendar. However, I do like to-do lists. Every day, I write out the top 3 most important tasks, and focus on that. This also helps make sure that my kids’ appointments don’t fall through the crack. If I have time and the mental capacity to get to more than those three things, then I will. But usually, whatever else is on the list can wait until the next day. This has helped tremendously with feeling overwhelmed.

2. Delegate and Share Responsibilities

“Tell me what you need me to do!” What my husband says anytime I start shooting him a very strategic side eye. I really don’t think stay at home moms talk often enough about how exhausting the mental load of all of our responsibilities is. If you’re a recovering perfectionist like me, it can be hard to ask for help. But by sharing the responsibilities with your spouse and older children, it will not only lighten your work load, but it will also foster a stronger sense of teamwork within your family.

3. Increase Your Adaptability

My very first week of working from home, my whole family came down with a horrible virus. We all suffered from high fevers and sore throats. My husband, who I was counting on to pick up the slack that week, ended up spending the whole time sleeping or complaining about how miserable he felt. You wouldn’t believe how often things like this happen though. I don’t mean us all getting sick at the same time. What I mean is when we get used to our routine and have expectations on how the day or week might go. But when it comes to kids, we have to throw all expectations out of the window. Children are unpredictable. So if we don’t adapt to our an ever changing environment within our own homes, we will become unnecessarily stressed out and frustrated. So it is important that we learn to adjust our schedules, expectations, and priorities. This might mean learning to be ok with unfinished tasks, accepting that work progress may be slower than we’d like sometimes, or even putting work on hold to seize opportunities with our children. Regardless of the situation, try to embrace these challenges with a positive attitude and a sense of humor.

4. Prioritize Me Time

If you didn’t take anything else from this blog but this, I’d be extremely happy. At risk of sounding selfish, I think this is the most important tip I have discovered so far. Especially because what I do for work blends with what I do for fun: writing. You have to make time for self care and activities that recharge you because taking care of yourself emotionally and physically enables you to be more present and effective in both your work, and as a mom.

This-Like Everything Else In Motherhood-Is Just a Phase

When you first start on this path of working from home, balancing your professional responsibilities while keeping up with the constant demands of motherhood can feel overwhelming. I know there are more than enough days that I fall into bed at night with tired feet and an overstimulated brain. While we are often reminded that the days are long and the years are short, it doesn’t mean we don’t catch ourselves wishing away these moments. But trust me, this too, is only a short phase that will soon pass. The tough, unmanageable days of chaos and noise will soon be replaced with well deserved career victories, promotions, or raises, and you’ll find yourself longing for cute, sticky hands to pull you away from your work. So be patient with yourself. Trust that you will figure this all out soon enough. And remember, you’re never alone in this journey. If you’re needing some more words of encouragement, be sure to comment below or send me an email directly to Jess@blissthismess.com.

The post Balancing Personal Growth and Parenthood: A Work from Home Mom’s Journey to Self-Fulfillment appeared first on Bliss This Mess.

Merry Christmas Aaron, Jessica, and Brody!

Although I tried to tie some humor into your gifts, I have a serious message behind them.

‘Keep Your Dreams Alive’

Fall into sleep with that thought and you’ll be rewarded a fulfilling life. Strive to keep ’em alive! Always remember YOU were one of my ‘dreams come true’ and despite life’s hardships, I feel rewarded times over and totally fulfilled.

When I found this Christmas card, we were in the middle of packing up our home of eight years and preparing to move our family across the country. Just a few weeks prior, we found out we were expecting baby number six. We knew we wanted six kids, so although we weren’t necessarily surprised by the outcome, we were definitely surprised by the timing.

Big changes were starting to take place and I was so overwhelmed. But with the sudden realization that everything we had been working so hard to achieve was now coming to fruition, we could hardly believe we were finally at the end of this chapter.

Trust Your Journey

Before I get too far ahead of myself, I should mention when my husband and I first started dating, we discussed wanting somewhere between two and four kids. After quickly and unexpectedly falling pregnant with our first, we decided we wouldn’t commit to any specific number. But rather take it just one kid at a time. We figured what was meant to be will always be.

At some point during my third pregnancy, I knew I wanted more. Maybe it was because I enjoyed being pregnant or because I LOVED being a mom. For whatever reason, six now seemed to be the magic number and I wanted to be done having babies by the time I was 30. But dedicating a whole decade (and my entire 20s) to being pregnant or nursing has proven to be no easy feat. There were times I felt like I was thrown into shark infested waters. Time to sink or swim, Jess. Yet, somehow, I always returned to the water’s surface with more grit and determination to handle whatever motherhood threw at me.

My personal health and fitness goals have taken the back burner for years. I know I’ve walked passed a mirror or two and groaned at the person looking back at me. Those tired eyes, stretch marks, and extra baby weight left much more to be desired. But with each kid, I’ve grown a deeper appreciation for my body and how gracefully it carried me through some of the toughest days of my life.

“Stop and smell the roses,” people would say. Yet, I never understood the meaning of that until I became a mom. That’s because I realized it is so easy to get caught up in the monotony of our daily responsibilities that we forget to pause and appreciate what’s taking place in our home. How did these incredible kids come from those once tiny and very needy babies?! This journey is what makes being a mom so rewarding.

Embrace the Destination When You Get There

While staring at those two lines on a home pregnancy test I realized in the blink of an eye, everything I wished for had come true. I failed to listen when people warned me not to wish the days away because the years would fly by. Now, I’m stuck between wanting time to speed up in anticipation of our newest arrival, while also begging for time to slow down so I can take in the last of this pregnancy glow and the sweet baby kicks.

My husband and I may not always appreciate the chaos that has resulted from our big dream. But we do recognize what a blessing it is. While we are sad to be closing this chapter of our lives, we are also fully embracing the new chapter that is about to start. The one where we quit collecting baby items and start collecting more memories as a complete family of eight. Life is so good and I know it will only continue to get better from here.

The post Baby #6 Means Dreams Really Do Come True appeared first on Bliss This Mess.

My husband is really good at making money, but he is also really great at spending it. Because of that, I assumed the role of money manager in our household and as the years go on, I’m getting pretty good at it. Some months are better than others but for the most part, my system works really well.

So, let’s dive right into these budget tips!

Track Your Expenses

I remember skating by until pay day, quickly breathing a sigh of relief, and then watching that week’s paycheck vaporize before it barely even hit the account. It’s one thing to THINK you know where your money is going and then a completely different thing to sit down and stare at the paper that SHOWS where your money is actually going.

The first thing you need to do is print one month of bank statements and categorize each of those transactions. Don’t leave anything uncategorized! My categories include: groceries, bills, gas, fast food, clothing, gifts, and family activities. I use a different color pen for each category. For example, blue for gas, red for fast food, yellow for gifts, etc. Then, I go down the list and mark every blue transaction before moving to the next category/color. When you have marked every transaction, add up each of the colors to get your total for each category.

The first time I did this, I was actually feeling a little bit of guilt and shame while looking at our numbers. The truth most certainly hurts sometimes!

Set a Budget and Stick to it

I call this the first aid of our money management. This is where we help make the bleeding stop with our expenses.

My husband has a terrible habit of stopping at gas stations to grab an energy drink or a snack while at work. His thought process was that it wasn’t that big of a deal spending a few dollars here and there. But a few dollars here and there was actually turning into a couple hundred bucks a month.

Another shock was the amount we were spending in subscriptions. Do we really need Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, Peacock, Disney Plus, and Discovery Plus? We already don’t have a lot of opportunities to watch TV so we decided to keep a few of our most watched services and ditch the rest.

Remember all of those free trials you signed up for and forgot to cancel at the end of your free trial? Now is time to cancel those too.

Make More Meals at Home

A typical fast food run for our family usually costs around $40-$50. I have a hard time justifying paying that much for food that doesn’t taste great and isn’t good for you anyway. But I love the convenience of it! So much so that we were spending nearly 3x what I thought we were. Now, I limit fast food runs to once a week. Chef Mom needs a break, too!

They say if you fail to plan then you can also plan to fail. To help keep our fast food budget on track, I spend about an hour a week planning a week’s worth of meals. Then, I create a grocery list and order all of my groceries for curbside pickup. I save so much money by not entering the store with kids that often forget to leave their “can we get these?” in the car.

I am always prepared with a few family favorite recipes that are quick and easy for days I know we are going to be busy. Better yet, they are all instant pot recipes. That way, I can’t even convince myself that drive thru would be more convenient. You can check out these recipes on my blog post, Quick and Easy Instant Pot Recipes That Picky Eaters Love.

Find a Good Bill Tracker

As moms, we have way too much other stuff that takes up valuable brain power. So when it came to paying bills on time, I was always forgetting! It is hard to budget money when you are constantly paying late fees.

In my desperate search, I found the Prism App to help manage our bills and their due dates. I love getting reminders of when bills are due right on my phone, which is how I pay majority of my bills anyway! Nothing comes as a surprise anymore.

If you consider yourself a little old fashioned, there are also paper bill trackers on Amazon. Anything that can be ruined by getting wet or colored on is not safe in this house. Find what works best for you!

Try to DIY

I joked that my husband has a spending problem but I am also super proud of him for becoming a self taught handyman around the house. He has saved us a lot of money by learning simple home fixes on Youtube. So far he has fixed leaky pipes in the basement, replaced bathtub drains, clear clogged pipes and got our washing machine working again after the water wouldn’t drain, just to name a few.

We live in the Information Age so I encourage you to take full advantage of it!

Practice Being Grateful and Content

Of all the budget tips I have for you, this is the most important one: be grateful for what you do have.

In a book I’m reading about human emotion, I found this article on gratitude by Robert Emmons. He wrote, “Research on emotions shows that positive emotions wear off quickly. Our emotional systems like newness. They like novelty. They like change. We adapt to positive life circumstances so that before too long, the new car, the new spouse, the new house-they don’t feel so new and exciting anymore. But gratitude makes us appreciate the value of something, and when we appreciate the value of something, we extract more benefits from it; we’re less likely to take it for granted.”

It is so easy to get caught up in keeping up with the Joneses that we often forget the things we have now are the same things we were praying about months ago. Like the famous quote from Aesop says, “gratitude turns what we have into enough.”

I hope this list has given you a few ideas on how to better manage your finances. If there is anything you think I should add to this list, please let me know in the comments below!

The post The Best Budget Tips for Moms appeared first on Bliss This Mess.

Did you know we are born with only two fears? The fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. All of the other insecurities, worries, fears, and doubts we burden ourselves with are learned and carried throughout the course of our life.

I remember seeing a quote by Frederick Douglass that I think is worth sharing here: “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men (and women.)” So in hopes of better preparing my children for their future, I have dedicated a lot of my free time to learning how to build up independent, strong, happy, and confident kids.

With my oldest being only 8, I know I still have a lot of work to do. Not to mention the dreaded teenage years ahead that I’m sure will put me to the test. But I think we are off to a great start!

Here is what I’ve learned so far.

Give Them a Safe Place to be Themselves

I’ll never forget the time my oldest spelled out his first cuss word. We were riding in my husband’s car, which sits much closer to the ground than mine and my son was feeling a little car sick. He told me he never wanted to ride in that piece of S-H-I-T ever again. The homeschool teacher in me was proud of him for using that word correctly in a sentence and even spelling it right the first time. But I definitely needed to use this moment as an opportunity to enforce some boundaries.

While I do believe 8 is too young to be walking around cussing, I also believe everybody needs someplace that they are free to be themselves without fear of repercussions, judgement, or ridicule. Have you ever felt the immense stress when you’re in an environment where you feel you are being overly managed? Could you imagine if that stressful place was your own home?

So, contrary to popular opinion, we have decided to continue letting him spell cuss words with the understanding that they never be repeated outside the walls of our home or used to put someone else down. I like giving my kids opportunities to show they can keep their word and I trust they will make good choices.

If the worst thing that happens when my kids grow up is that they have a bad mouth, I’ll still consider myself a very lucky mom. After all, **********

Help Them Communicate Their Emotions

Temper tantrums at any age usually come from the inability to effectively communicate their emotions. We have been pretty lucky that the terrible twos and threenager stages haven’t lived up to their reputation yet. We have definitely had our fair share of meltdowns around here. But I know, with four girls, it’s bound to get worse. I’d love to offset the drama associated with these high emotions by giving them the proper vocabulary to tell us what’s wrong.

We love these “A Little Spot of Feelings” books. They are perfect for younger kids in introducing social-emotional skills.

But the best way to help your kids decipher their emotions is to model the behavior you’d like to see. Your kids may not always listen to what you say but you can bet they are always watching what you do and how you react!

Children Will Listen When They Feel Listened To

Even as adults, there is nothing more frustrating than feeling like nobody is listening. I would guess that almost 90% of the conflicts that arise in our house are because someone wasn’t listening. So make sure you’re scheduling time to give them your undivided attention. Try using the down time or app limit feature on your smart phone to keep the notifications and distractions at bay.

One of my favorite things to prioritize is eating dinner together every night. I love finding conversation starter questions that create some fantastic family discussions. There is so much we can learn about one another if we just listen.

Helping with Household Responsibilities

Kids want to feel needed because this fosters a sense of purpose and belonging.

But, let’s be honest, kids don’t give a crap about how clean the house is. Most of the time, they seem to be blind to how bad it really is. Instead of insisting that they get started on their chores when I want them to, I try a different approach by asking them when they would like to start. That way, they get to determine how much time is appropriate to finish whatever is important to them at that moment like coloring, drawing, gaming, playing or snacking. Then, they are also more likely to finish their chores the first time because they aren’t thinking about what they didn’t get to finish before I interrupted them.

Our kids earn a weekly allowance for doing their chores. We collectively decided allowance day is Saturdays at noon. That way, if the kids had any days where they didn’t feel like doing anything (we call them brain break days,) they have time to catch up on their responsibilities before losing out on their allowance that week.

It is all about compromise! I love this quote I found from Donna Martini, “Compromise is not about losing. It is about deciding that the other person has just as much right to be happy with the end result as you do.”

If you are needing some suggestions on where to start with household responsibilities, check out my other blog post, Age-Appropriate Chores for Kids.

Children Are Everything Adults Wish They Could Be

There’s a lot I can learn from how carefree, optimistic, happy and confident my kids are. There is nothing I love more than tucking their giggly butts into bed at the end of the day knowing they feel safe, secure, and loved. We may not be able to change the course of the future for our kids but we can better prepare them for it.

I’d love to hear from you! Let me know in the comments what you are doing to raise happy and confident kids.

The post How to Raise Happy and Confident Kids appeared first on Bliss This Mess.

It wasn’t long ago that I was reading about why motherhood is so exhausting. It’s not because we chase after kids all day or run on very little sleep, but rather the mental load that is required. Some of that mental load includes remembering to pay bills on time, grocery shop, budget, schedule appointments, and meal plan. Oh, and don’t forget to throw a little self care in there, too.

I know I’m not the only one that wakes up with a to-do list, goes to bed with a to-do list, and then suddenly jolts awake in the middle of the night to ask Alexa to remind me to do things like, “thaw out chicken for dinner.”

Finally, after a good friend pointed out that my kids were old enough to share some of the responsibility, did things begin to change. I guess I was stuck in the never ending cycle of caring for infants that I failed to recognize we had kids more than capable of doing more than just feeding themselves.

After experimenting with a few different chore charts and rewards systems, I think we finally figured out what works!

Benefits of Kids Helping with Chores

There are so many good reasons why children should participate in helping with household chores. Some of these benefits include:

1. Chores teach kids life skills. Kids are eventually going to need to know basic survival skills like cooking, cleaning, and organizing when they move out. Like Franklin Roosevelt once said, “we cannot always build the future for our youth, but we can build our youth for the future.”
2. Chores help teach the value of teamwork. What better way to model teamwork than working together in your own home? This also holds them accountable to each other so they can accomplish a common goal.
3. Chores develop a good work ethic. This is extremely valuable for their future success as adults. When you work hard, you also get the opportunity to play hard!

Let me share some of the chores we have found our kids to good at based on their ages.

Chores for Toddlers (1-2 years old)

• Pick up toys, books, and games
• Put dirty clothes in hamper
• Wipe down surfaces they can reach (walls, furniture, appliances, etc.)
• Help take laundry to be put away

Chores for Pre-K Kids (3-5 years old)

• Everything from the previous list, plus:
• Feed pets
• Dust furniture
• Wipe off table
• Sort and put away clothes
• Clean their room
• Set the table
• Fold towels
• Make their bed
• Wipe off bathroom sink
• Empty bathroom trash

Chores for Elementary Kids (6-10 years old)

• Everything from the previous lists, plus:
• Sweep and mop floors
• Vacuum
• Help carry in and put away groceries
• Clear the table after meals
• Unload the dishwasher
• Pull weeds
• Help shovel snow
• Beginner food prep with kid safe knives
• Make their own bed
• Help wash cars
• Take trash to dumpster
• Clean windows and mirrors
• Scrub toilets

Children Won’t Become Responsible Without Responsibility

My kids might not always be enthusiastic about their chores, but they do take pride in being important contributors to our family. After all, we aren’t raising children, we are raising adults through childhood.

What age did you start including your kids in household responsibilities? Please share in the comments below!

The post Age-Appropriate Chores for Kids 10 and Under appeared first on Bliss This Mess.

It happened just last week. An irritable seven month old that went through her first sleep regression triggered a downward spiral of emotions for almost two weeks. My days consisted of sitting on the floor next to her to play and, if I even considered for one second trying to stand up just to fill my water, she would scream at me until I picked her up. Her naps were more like 20 minute power snoozes, which made it really hard to eat, shower, or do anything for that matter. My entire house fell apart.

I found myself tapping from an empty source of energy that seemed impossible to refill. I just wanted to throw in the towel and go back to bed.

But I couldn’t and I didn’t.

Has this happened to you before? A quick google search shows that Mommy burnout is a real thing, a real common thing. So I decided to compile a list of my favorite ways to combat burnout. I hope this helps you!

Prioritize Self Care

Self Care Saturday is trending on Instagram. I think Covid made people realize how important their mental health is and a lot of people are doing more to prioritize taking care of themselves.

Some of my favorite things to do are schedule exercise, get a pedicure, read a book, enjoy a cup of tea in peace early in the morning, or crafting a decor piece that makes my environment feel homey.

Do whatever soothes your soul!

Start a Social Media Detox

“The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” -Steven Furtick

I couldn’t have said it better myself. Social media is toxic to our mental health. I’m not shunning you for being on it because I still use it too.

I love staying in touch with old friends and helping celebrate their biggest accomplishments. But don’t get so lost in celebrating theirs that you forget to appreciate your journey as well.

Take a Nap

I swear, a good nap solves 95% of my problems and it is the first thing my husband suggests when I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’ve had to work on prioritizing my own sanity over the never ending pile of laundry and dishes. I give you permission to do the same.

So get in your comfy clothes, lock the door, turn on a white noise machine to drown out the kids, and get your butt back in bed!

Give Yourself Permission to Not Be Productive

Seriously, just burn the to-do list for a day. My reader and friend at Poetry and Pies suggested that you focus on things that bring you joy instead of finding value in your productivity. Moms tend to think that our only value comes from how productive we are. So give yourself a break and do something you love.

One of my favorite things to do is craft. I love finding inspiration on Pinterest and challenging myself to do things I have never done before.

I thought doing things I love that didn’t involve my kids was me being selfish. Don’t fall into that trap. You are a still a human with hobbies outside of being a mom!

Get Outside of Your Comfort Zone

Home is where we are most comfortable. Get out of it!

If you’re an introvert, you just stopped reading. But hear me out! Sometimes, all we need is a change of scenery to reset our brains. Life as a stay-at-home mom is monotonous. It feels like we do the same exact thing everyday. So to change it up, go for a walk, hang out at a coffee shop, or go buy yourself something nice. If you’re feeling real spontaneous, plan a fun weekend getaway for just you!

Schedule a Date Night

I know I’m not the only that is guilty of not spending enough quality time with my spouse. Life gets busy and it is so hard to find the time for just the two of you.

So, you need to sit down, find a date that works, and make it happen. Because, remember, you were husband and wife before you became Mom and Dad.

An Empty Tank Will Take You Nowhere

Have you heard the saying, you can’t pour from an empty cup? It is true, even though it feels like as moms, we do it often. So prioritize taking care of you and get back to being the best version of you that you can possibly be!

I’d love to know what you do when you’re feeling burnt out. Let me know in the comments!

The post 6 Ways to Recover When You Hit Mommy Burnout appeared first on Bliss This Mess.

I remember asking my husband when we first started dating, how many kids he wanted. At the time, he told me two. I was worried it would be a deal breaker when I told him I wanted four. Our inside joke is that after a little negotiating, we compromised on having six (hopefully).

Sometime after having my third kid, I had this feeling I couldn’t shake that four kids wasn’t all we were meant to have. Then, after having our fourth child, I knew for certain that I wanted more.

Sometimes, I wish I had a better reasoning than just “a gut feeling” to explain to people who often ask us why. I know I shouldn’t have to explain that to anyone. But holy moly, I wish you knew how many times people ask us that. And all of the other ridiculous questions we are asked when people see our kids.

Yes, I Know How This Happens

We are obviously really good at it!

I remember having someone over at the house to install a new garage door opener. The kids came out to see who was here and what was going on. When the guy suddenly realized the amount of kids pouring out of the door, he stopped his work and asked, “don’t you guys have a TV?”

Just as quick as he was to ask his question, I said, “yeah, but watching TV isn’t as fun.” He laughed and went back to work. I was paying him to fix the garage door, right? Not give his two cents on the size of my family.

But, over the years, I have learned not to be so easily offended. I want my kids to take pride in their character and refrain from reacting to people who aren’t being polite or respectful.

Yes, They Are Undoubtedly All Mine

And then also queue the question, “you don’t look old enough to have all of those kids!” Which I guess is flattering because there are somedays where I feel really old.

I will always remember the time I had just given birth to my fifth. I just moved from labor and delivery and met my nurse that would be caring for me that night. She was asking if this was my first child and I told her about the others at home. She looked at my husband quite shocked, and asked if they were all his. My husband, being a little tired (and a little bit of a smart*ss), had to bite his tongue. He so badly wanted to say something like, “no, the other dad is waiting downstairs.”

Trust me, I’m just as shocked as most people that one man agreed to have all of these kids. I’m glad I married the man who saw my vision for our family, helped bring it to fruition, and then also financially supports it.

Yes, My Hands Are Full

Full hands, full lap, full house, full dinner table, full car, all of it. I knew what I was signing up for when I decided to carry and birth all of these kids. It is a lifetime commitment being a Mom.

But you want to know something? My heart is extremely full knowing I’m living and fulfilling my lifelong dream.

So people can judge all they want. I only hope they find something that brings them as much joy as my children do.

Be sure to follow me on social media to see what our family is up to! You can find us on Instagram and Facebook @blissthismess

The post Raising 5 Wonderful Kids in a Judgmental World appeared first on Bliss This Mess.

Like a lot of people, COVID threw us a few curveballs. 1/10, I do not recommend having a baby during COVID. Although, our baby was the highlight of a rather weird and stressful year, the experience turned out to be a little depressing. Here’s why.

The Hospital Was Tense

Since we weren’t in the middle of a lockdown when we had our baby, a mask wasn’t required during labor. It was only required if we left our room. But still highly recommended when different doctors and nurses entered our room. I missed seeing the friendly and comforting faces of my nurses and doctor.

My baby’s heart rate was dropping significantly during contractions right before she was born. A situation my doctor had full control over. But, it was hard to read facial expressions when all you can see are eyes.

No Siblings Allowed

Basically nobody but one labor support person was allowed. Thankfully, I had even that. I heard horror stories of people’s spouses not even being allowed in the delivery room when their baby was born.

Traditionally, in the past, our kids came to the hospital and we would get really cute pictures of them meeting their new sibling for the first time. But this time, no one came. My husband always leaves for the night to have a special sleepover with the big kids at home. This allows me to spend time with our brand new baby. But the hospital was very quiet lonely. I couldn’t wait to go home.

Nobody Came to Meet The New Baby

Out of respect for keeping our family healthy and not risking COVID with a new baby, most people avoided coming to meet the new baby. I will admit, most people stopped coming to meet the new baby after our second was born. But I really missed enjoying comforting, home cooked meals from our family and friends.

Public Places Were a No-Go

We were stuck at home…A LOT. My 3 year old even began cutting her own hair out of boredom. Cabin fever is so real when you’re spending every day for months at a time stuck at home. The only time I got out was after my husband got home from work. My typical outing included grabbing our weekly groceries from curbside pick up. Pretty exciting, right?

It wasn’t until very recently, when our baby was 6 months old, that we all finally wandered into a grocery store together. Even now, people were hesitant to get too close to ooh and ahh over a cute little baby.

Moms Are Resilient

It is very weird times we are living in right now. I look forward to better days ahead! But this experience solidified my belief that Moms can handle literally anything. We adapt and overcome some of the craziest battles. We do it without recognition, without complaining, and without pay.

So if you had your first baby during Covid, understand that this isn’t normal. If you found yourself struggling more than you thought you would, know you are not alone.

But more importantly, don’t forget to give yourself a pat on the back, enjoy an extra glass of wine, or just give yourself a break. We will get through this together!

The post Welcoming a Baby into the World During a Pandemic appeared first on Bliss This Mess.

Just like most birthdays, that day had me reminiscing over the last few years, wondering where the time went. It is so crazy looking back on her baby pictures and then looking at her now. I had no idea that such a beautiful, smart, and loving kid with a big, kind heart would come out of that little, bald baby. How in the heck did I get so lucky?

I remember the first few weeks after she was born. I found myself struggling to adjust to two kids and often wondering if I was cut out for it. We grow through what we go through. And boy, did that girl teach me a few things.

1. Challenges Make Life Interesting and Meaningful

She wasn’t a challenge. It was a combination of a newborn and a toddler, with a mom who had no idea what she was doing. That was the challenge.

But the beautiful thing about the struggle is that we bonded over trying to figure it out together. She often asks what she was like as a baby and finds it humorous when I tell her she was a mama’s girl. I couldn’t even pass her off to her dad somedays when my back just needed a break because she would wriggle and fight until she wound up in my arms again.

As challenging as it was, I found great joy in this tiny human having so much trust in me. I didn’t know what I was doing. But for whatever reason, she felt like I did. And I loved that.

2. My Heart Can Handle It

I had no idea my heart could love two kiddos so much. Were you ever fearful of that? I can tell you, without a shadow of a doubt, that it is absolutely possible. Your heart doesn’t split to accommodate loving two kids, it doubles in size.

There are times when I just sit back and watch my kids play together. It makes my heart physically ache (like the Grinch on Christmas morning) because they bring me so much pride and joy.

3. Time Goes By Faster

Like way faster! My second born doesn’t have nearly as many baby pictures as my first born. I almost always forgot to take those cute monthly milestone pictures with her. It felt like every time I blinked, she all of a sudden learned to crawl, walk, or say Mama for the first time. I blinked again and suddenly she is starting her 1st grade year.

But there are also some days where time stands completely still. Like the nights we stay up a little past bedtime and play hide and seek. Or when they treat me like their horse and I literally collapse in the hallway after giving them their 40th ride to their bed. Her giggle is contagious!

Kenzie will often climb up on the couch next to me, rest her head against my arm, and say nothing at all. She just looks at me like I’m the most important thing in the world to her. I know that soon she will be too old and too cool for me.

She Changed Us

I often remind myself that if I can tackle the responsibilities of two kids, I can do just about anything. She was the one that gave me so much confidence. That boost of confidence led me to believe that I could handle more.

Also, because of her, my husband reconsidered having only two kids. Our family dynamic has changed so much from what we thought it would be. I couldn’t imagine our lives today had we stopped at two.

Being the second born, there is so much I learned from her. She didn’t make me a mom, but more importantly, she made me a better one.

The post The Most Important Lessons My Second Child Taught Me appeared first on Bliss This Mess.

With love languages, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all. But I believe all of my kids’ love languages include some aspect of quality time. They all thrive on spending time with me, which makes it really hard to venture out of the house by myself…ever.

A recent survey showed that American families only dedicate 37 minutes a day during the week for quality time together. Yikes! People are getting so busy creating a life, they forget to live and enjoy their life, too.

The Struggle With Technology

My 8 year old just got his first phone. He has been begging me for a while so I gave him one of my old phones that he can only use when he is around wifi or connected to my hotspot. His only contacts are family members and couple of close friends. But after entrusting him with the freedom of his own phone, I suddenly realized that I became a role model on how to responsibly use one. I couldn’t lecture him about putting his phone away if that was something I could not model myself.

With technology at our fingertips, it is harder than ever to be present in every moment of our child’s day. I can’t even count how many times I thought I was going to sit on the couch for a couple of minutes to check social media and then, all of a sudden, a half hour goes by. I know I am not alone here!

So when it comes to spending quality time with my family, the best and most important thing I can do for myself is unplug. Your children want your undivided attention! Did you know there are settings on apple devices (sorry, I’m not knowledgable with Android) to help with this? Under settings, and screen time, you will find options to set downtimes and app limits. During downtime, only apps that you choose to allow and phone calls will be available. App limits allows you to set a daily time limit for app categories, like social media. Pretty nifty, huh?

No Fail Method to Staying Off Your Phone

Creating and sharing content for my blog requires a lot of time on technology. I have had to discipline myself in waking up early to finish my projects so that I could allow adequate time that is dedicated to just my children.

But sometimes, even I struggle with being able to let work go to be fully present with my kids. When this happens, I have to put my phone in a place where I know I will be too lazy to go and get it. For me, that place is usually in the car in the garage. There is no other reason I need to go out there. If it is urgent, people can call my husband.

My kids also get really excited about playing one game in particular. It is called, “hide mom’s phone.” You probably guessed it. I let my kids find a hiding spot for it until bed time. For your own sanity, I highly suggest you only play this game with kids you can trust to not forget where they put your phone. I recently found out of desperation, if I ask my AirPods where my phone is, it will ping my phone. That in itself is worth the investment of AirPods, in my opinion (ha!)

Whatever the strategy, find one that works for you!

The Only Thing More Important Than Time is Who We Spend it With

If you are not intentional about scheduling quality time, then let’s be honest, it isn’t likely to happen. You have to block this time out. We typically schedule quality time at least one day a week. For us, this is usually on either a Saturday or a Sunday. Weekends can also be hard if you’re used to being invited to do a bunch of things. But, you will learn how to say no to certain activities and yes to your kids which will better benefit the functionality and happiness of your home!

Some of our favorite quality time activities we enjoy as a family are:

• Cooking and eating meals together
• Planning a family movie night
• Enjoying an after dinner walk together
• Reading books together
• Having a backyard picnic
• Starting a water fight in the backyard
• Planning a living room campout (including an indoor s’mores station)
• Going on a scavenger hunt
• Making play dough together (tutorial and the best play dough recipe here)
• Planning a family game night with a popcorn bar
• Having an arts and crafts night
• Building a fort

For Kids, Love is Spelled T-I-M-E

Quality time with your kids will improve mental health, boost their self-confidence, reduce stress, and strengthen family bonding. Along with those benefits, prioritizing quality time will also demonstrate positive family and relationship dynamics. Kids learn by example and they mimic behaviors they often see. This time with our kids goes by so fast! Be sure to spend as much time as you can with the ones you love the most!

What is your favorite quality time activity you like to do with your kids? Let me know in the comments!

The post Why Spending Quality Time With Your Kids is Important appeared first on Bliss This Mess.