My weight has been part of my identity for as long as I can remember.
Growing up, I was the fat sibling. Or at least that’s how I saw myself.
My parents used to wake us up early during summer break to work out together in our makeshift gym. It sounds supportive, doesn’t it? But when your siblings joke, “If you weren’t fat, we wouldn’t have to do this,” it kind of kills the motivation.
So does finally working up the confidence to wear a more form-fitting shirt, only to be told to go change because it didn’t look very flattering on me.
Maybe those moments didn’t seem so detrimental to anyone else back then. But to me, they became the voice in the back of my head telling me my body was always something to fix. That my weight would always be the first thing people noticed about me.
Even now, years later, those thoughts still creep in more often than I’d like to admit.
Something Had to Change
Late last year, I wrote a post about waking up one day and realizing I didn’t really know who I was anymore. Between a full time job, six kids, a house that constantly needs something, and all the responsibilities that come with being an adult, I felt like I had completely disappeared. Somewhere along the way, I stopped caring how I felt, too.
For a long time, I told myself I’d start taking care of my health when life slowed down…or when work wasn’t so busy…or when the kids were older…or when I had more time.
Then it hit me.
Life wasn’t going to magically hand me the perfect season to start. And if I kept waiting for things to feel less chaotic, I’d wind up five years from now probably still making the same excuses.
So, after almost ten years of not setting foot in a gym, I finally walked back into one.
And in just the first month, I learned a lot more than how to lift weights.
1. Investing In Yourself Isn’t a Luxury
As moms, we’re really good at convincing ourselves everyone else needs something more than we do. I almost always talk myself out of every purchase because I could think of a dozen more “responsible” ways to spend the money.
But my husband saw it differently. He bought me new workout clothes, shoes, sports bras that actually fit, and a water bottle I’ll probably cry over if I lose. I also chose a gym with a higher monthly membership because it included group strength training.
None of those things magically made me healthier. What they did was remove excuses. When something makes it easier for you to take care of yourself, it’s not a luxury. It’s an investment.
2. Health Isn’t Another Thing On the To-Do List
For years, taking care of myself felt like one more thing I had to squeeze into an already impossible schedule.
Then I realized I had it backwards.
Taking care of my health isn’t competing with being a better mom, wife, employee, or friend. It’s what gives me the energy to be those things. I’m not working out because I have extra time. I’m working out because I finally realized I can’t afford not to.
3. The All or Nothing Mindset Is Exhausting
For years, I treated healthy habits like a light switch. I was either “being good” or I wasn’t. If I grabbed fast food for lunch, I figured I might as well have dessert too because the day was already ruined. If I missed a workout, I’d tell myself I’d just start again on Monday.
Except Monday has a funny way of turning into next month.
One of the biggest mindset shifts for me has been realizing this isn’t a 30-day challenge — it’s my life. If I’m building habits I can’t realistically maintain, what’s the point?
Life is meant to be enjoyed. I still want date nights with my husband. Birthday cake with my kids. Warm brownies. Fresh chocolate chip cookies. If becoming “healthy” means I have to give those things up forever, I’m out.
4. Tiny Dumbbells Will Humble You
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but ten pounds can feel like one hundred when you’re using proper form.
There’s something incredibly humbling about watching someone hand you a weight you could’ve sworn was “too light,” only to realize halfway through the set that your muscles are filing a formal complaint.
It turns out strength isn’t about lifting the heaviest thing in the room. It’s about doing the movement well enough that your body actually benefits from it.
5. Progress Isn’t Just Measured In Pounds
This one has been the hardest for me.
I’ve worked harder this past month than I have in years, and the scale has been…less than encouraging.
But I’m also learning more about hormones, inflammation, sore muscles, water weight, and how all of those things can make the number bounce around even when you’re doing everything right.
Some days progress looks like lifting heavier than you did last week. Some days it looks like having more energy. And some days it even looks like showing up when you didn’t feel like it.
6. Healing Your Relationship With Your Body Takes Time
I used to think I’d learn to love my body once it looked different. Now, I’m realizing those are two completely different journeys.
Becoming a mom changes your body in ways no one really prepares you for. Stretch marks, loose skin, a softer stomach, and breasts that look…different than they used to. It’s easy to spend years looking in the mirror and focusing on everything you’d rather erase.
I’m not at the point where I love everything I see, and that’s ok. But I’m learning to appreciate my body for more than its reflection. Maybe healing your relationship with your body isn’t about loving every inch of it. Maybe it’s about treating it with kindness, even on the days you don’t.
7. Strong Feels Better Than Skinny
Has anyone else seen those Hilary Duff ads that say, “Stronger not smaller?” Every time I see one, I think, Hell yeah, sister.
For so long, women have been sold the idea that our goal should be to take up less space. Be smaller. Weigh less. Eat less. Stay tiny. Meanwhile, strength has always seemed like something that belonged to men.
But why?
Why shouldn’t women want to build muscle? Why shouldn’t we celebrate being strong enough to carry all the groceries in one trip, pick up our kids without throwing out our backs, or feel confident moving our own bodies?
The more I’ve started strength training, the less I care about becoming the smallest version of myself and the more I care about becoming the strongest version of myself. That’s a mindset shift I wish I’d made years ago.
If I Can Start, So Can You
If there’s one thing this first month has taught me, it’s that taking care of yourself doesn’t have to start with confidence. It just has to start.
If you’ve been waiting for the “right” time to start taking care of yourself too, let this be your reminder that it probably isn’t coming. Start where you are. Do what you can. Give yourself a little grace along the way. And don’t forget to save room for the occasional warm brownie.
